The Little Women Trailer Is Out and I’m Sweating

This morning, 8:02 a.m.

I wake up in a cold sweat, reach for my phone, its alarm
bleating, and search: “littlewb women.trailer” in my
browser.

Why? Because yesterday I crushed my phone in a vice grip after
seeing via Florence Pugh’s
Instagram
that it—the 2019 Greta Gerwig adaptation of Little
Women starring Saoirse Ronan (WEEP),
Timothée Chalamet
(SOB), Meryl Streep (SNIFFLE), Laura Dern
(WHIMPER), Florence Pugh (BAWL)—is slated to arrive TODAY.

And yet, there’s nothing.

8:20 a.m.

I go through the motions of getting dressed and imagine
Timothée in a flowing white shirt standing next to me à la BBC
Pride and
Prejudice Darcy
while I pick at my face in the bathroom. He
would smack my hand and tell me to “stop that.”

9:12 a.m.

On my commute, I see rumblings of the trailer coming out at
noon. NOON. CRUELTY hath a name and it is GRETA GERWIG and, like,
the press ppl, for this movie for making me wait three hours.

9:43 a.m.

I pull up the press pictures from the film and linger on the one
where Laurie (Tim) is seemingly tightening Amy’s (Florence
Pugh’s) corset. If this were 1868 I’d call it ****.

10:20 a.m.

I turn to Twitter (the den of nerds! the hotbed of impatience!)
to find answers, where instead I find a fleet of people
commiserating with my plight. Unconventional
life hack
: If you are ever anticipating anything, even
slightly, go to Twitter and find your people. I feel my heart rate
accelerating as I dive deeper.

Every minute I go without seeing the Little
Women trailer I lose a little bit of myself

— zoe christen jones (@zoectjones)
August 13, 2019

where is the little women trailer pic.twitter.com/YBvPD6yYbA

— daniel taroy (@danieltaroy)
August 13, 2019

little women trailer when pic.twitter.com/ttgu8KCOay

— elissa (@bIacberries)
August 13, 2019

don’t talk to me today unless it’s
directly related to the little women trailer. thank you

— marianna (@itsmariannnna)
August 13, 2019

never thought i’d be furiously refreshing
the little women twitter for the trailer to drop and yet here we
are

— bettina makalintal (@bettinamak)
August 13, 2019

how many more minutes until little women
resurrects me

— hunter harris (@hunteryharris)
August 13, 2019

The two states I exist in this morning is
pre Little Women trailer and post Little Women trailer

— Tin Tin Queerantino (@ZestyKaleChips)
August 13, 2019

I need the Little Women trailer to drop so I
can move on with my life.

— Alyssa Fikse (@lyssiefikse)
August 13, 2019

.@RealChalamet‘s
silence over little women is deafening

— carol (@biglittlewomen)
August 13, 2019

11:50 a.m.

This.
Black coffee is swirling in my stomach. It feels like a jazz band
in there.

little women trailer in 10 minutes pic.twitter.com/hrYCuB3PGz

— who dat… (@mysterioluv)
August 13, 2019

11:57 a.m.

Then THIS. I’m literally covered in goose pimples that are
only 40% a product of too much AC in the office. I pop in
headphones.

little women trailer in 3 minutes pic.twitter.com/Qj6IhUzLgy

— brié (@tinytimothee_)
August 13, 2019

12 p.m.

BLESSED BE SHE’S HERE. I proceed to write down every feeling
that comes into my head over the course of 2 minutes and 34
seconds, as time-stamped below:

This Christmas, own your story. 🖊
Watch the new
#LittleWomenMovie
trailer now. pic.twitter.com/Nm2x2uqyou

— Little Women (@LittleWomen)
August 13, 2019

0:16 Tracey Letts saying, “Make it short and
spicy” about Jo’s book is my new ringtone

0:21 Saoirse punching Timothée and him
whining, “Ow Jo” is my new wallpaper

0:27 I fell in love with Florence Pugh in
Midsommar (which, needless to say, was a whole different kinda
sorority if u know what I mean), so I really do trust her to
capture the essence of Amy, the character I most identified with in
the book.

0:32 If you do nothing else, stay in this to
watch Emma Watson as Meg get hit in the face with a pillow

0:35 GET INTO MY MISCHIEF, TIM

0:51 Okay, but is this Meryl Streep playing
Meryl Streep playing Aunt March? I’m still happy about it, even
if the dialogue is a tad cheeseball.

Aunt March: You’ll need to marry well
Jo: But you’re not married Aunt March
Aunt Meryl: Well, that’s because I’m rich

*insert drum punchline riff*

1:02 TIM DANCES? YOU DANCE, TIM? That’s the
price of admission, right there

1:16 Tim playing Laurie is like playing Elio
from Call Me By Your Name pt. 2 because lil bb is gonna be making
pain faces for about 60% of the film and 90% of the theater will be
ready to swaddle him

1:31 Did… did Emma Watson just hit me with a
somewhat convincing American accent???

1:35 OMG, TIM FALLING APART, I’M CRYING TOO,
TIM. LET ME BE THE WIND IN YOUR HAIR.

2:00 Is it weird that I’d be into my whole
wardrobe being swapped out for late 19th century candy colored
fru-fru dresses? A serve.

2:07 Okay, monologue by Jo is cool and powerful
but why is this teen romance pop song in the back, Greta?

2:26 Hear me out: I have a big feeling Laura
Dern is going to pull through as fan fave on this one

12:22 p.m.

I rewatch four times and pause where pauses are needed (see:
Emma Watson getting smacked in the face with a pillow).

Not everyone will be as excited for this Little Women remake as
I am. I read this book four times growing up—I fell in love with
Laurie, I fell in love with Jo, I fell in love with the idea of a
sisterhood I didn’t have and with concepts of love and
partnership that were individual. Little Women is a story with
characters that allows its readers to feel like they could be any
one of them: Meg, Jo, Beth, Amy, Marmee, hell, even Aunt March
sometimes.

As with any book-to-film adaptation, the magic of your
imagination does get muddled, but for once I’m not nervous about
the cast or the creative interpretation. Similar to Cary
Fukunaga’s interpretation of Jane Eyre, I believe it will do the
book justice and let me and Louisa May sleep soundly.

Did you watch the trailer? What were your thoughts? I’m
itching to know.

12:52 p.m.

Also I’m an Amy sun, Meg moon, Jo rising, in case u were
wondering.

Feature photo via Sony Pictures. 

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The Little Women Trailer Is Out and I’m Sweating
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The Little Women Trailer Is Out and I’m Sweating